If you don’t own livestock, you may not know about them, however. Here are some products to try, one not to try…and one process you might like to know about, but may not actually want to try.
Tame Your Mane With a Horse Potion
Horse owners who compete with their horses bathe them a lot. Over the years, they found that the Mane ‘n Tail shampoos and conditioners made for horses worked well on their own hair, too. Finally, the manufacturer, Straight Arrow, caught on and began packaging the potions, reformulated for human pH, and selling them in drug stores and supermarkets.
Better Fingernails Through Agricultural Chemistry
Horse owners also frequently apply hoof dressing so that the hard outer surface of a horse’s hoof won’t get too dry and brittle, especially in winter. Some people use human-grade baby oil. Some use horse-specific mixtures (home made and commercial) of some amount of pine tar and other noxious ingredients. Others use mild, good-smelling hoof dressings.
Those people found that their fingernails, during the seasons they applied the hoof dressings, were strong and flexible and had plenty of moisture. One of the more popular of these creamy, no-pine-tar dressings is Hoof Saver, made by Farnam, but sold only through equine outlets. Straight Arrow's Hoofmaker is also available in a human formulation.
Smooth, Creamy Skin with Bovine Lotions
Cow owners are familiar with Bag Balm, an ointment meant to be massaged into cows’ udders after milking to keep them from getting sore and dried out. Since people applied the ointment with their hands, before long, they noticed that their hands were soft and not at all sore from pulling on those bovine teats. So far, Bag Balm, made by Dairy Associates, is not as readily available on drug store shelves, although some mail order merchants, such as Vermont Country Store, sell it.
Another version, offered by the manufacturer for human and bovine use, is Udder Balm. It is supposed to counter the effects of extremes in outdoor temperature, low humidity and more. It is claimed to prevent chapping, offers some frost protection, and also has a sunscreen and vitamins A, D and E.
Unless You're a Horse, Avoid this Horseman's Trick
Horsemen and horsewomen have been known to apply the equine liniment, Vetrolin, to themselves to relieve sore muscles, just as they apply it to their horses for the same purpose. However, the manufacturer, Farnam, in no way recommends this use. It is powerful stuff. A new version, a gel, also contains hyaluronic acid, currently used by some human cosmetic surgeons to plump up tissues and banish lines. For horses, it is generally used to plump up tissues that are being worn down by work, such as in the hocks.
If you can find a human-grade liniment with hyaluronic acid, you’d still be getting “beauty from the barn.”
Nature's Sauna From Piles of "Road Apples"
One other “beauty from the barn” treatment that’s as old as horsemanship – or at least horse racing – is another one that’s been done, but few would recommend it. If you want to lose weight fast, pack yourself into a nice, big, stinking pile of horse manure. Don’t go too deep and don’t stay too long; it gets hot in there. Jockeys used to do it to shave off some water weight before a race, when they didn’t have access to an actual sauna. Of course, they didn’t much care whether they stank like a dirty horse for the rest of the day, an unavoidable side effect.
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